Sounds heavy, huh? Loud drum roll….
Knowledge is the key to success, or better yet ignorance is not just bliss, therefore if we don’t Have knowledge about this big, scary, Ego of Control, we simply cannot know if we are making allies doing so either. Let’s take a look at where is is supplied by and just how it manifests itself ensuring that we are able to identify its working in our lifestyle.
Dr. Shefali Tsbary teaches within the Conscious Parent that the ego of control can originate from an upbringing where emotional control was valued over emotional expression. Because a plague of emotional expression was believed becoming a weakness, suppressing emotions became an automatic tactic. She also notes that from this we develop rigid standards for all those around us as well as for life itself. We look like a necessity to exert our control over life by passing judgment on situations and expressing disapproval, which supplies us a sense of superiority, just as if that we are in charge of our emotions and above the trials of life.
Dr. Tsbary gives certainly one of the same way as might identify this form of ego:
With this egoistic imprint, the tendency will be to view power and control being a way to security…As parents, they are likely to unleash their necessity of control particularly upon the who definitely are disenfranchised, which can include when parenting their own children or teacher at college. They become adults that are they cannot tolerate any disrespect for their own status, applying their role to foster inhibition in others.
I have to agree that this heard this before. Just how many times as parents are we able to say, “Don’t disrespect me!” and feel threatened when our superior role is questioned. Just how many times can we stifle our own emotions, plus our children’s emotions? How many times per year will we silently, or not so silently, show our disapproval of what our children are going to do, passing judgment located on the smallest infractions? Does that ring true?
For now, start to see if you can perceive this ego of control working in your interactions with other people. Stop and spot if you find yourself feeling a reaction approaching that is actually laced with judgment, criticism, guilt-tripping, or reprimand. Pause and think, is the my require for control? Is that this a trigger that I commonly fall prey to? Should I get angry in the event i feel disrespected? Must I feel the want to display my superior knowledge to others? Do I be a problem tolerating outbursts of emotion in myself as well as others? Stop and find out. When we can know it has been an internal trigger, due to our attachment into the ego of control, but we may also have the ability to perform something about it.
Step one is: See if it’s possible to identify it. Not easy job.
For today, just think about it, and discover yourself, is the me? When it is, that’s okay. Each time you to note that ego of control creeping in using your parenting and developing a divide between you and your child, distance yourself from it. In no time you’ll be reaching out to your little one this way you will never dreamed of!